When God Give You Wind, Go Fly A Kite!

okay, so I've been slightly behind here.  Sorry.  Very busy chasing waves and seagulls.

This week was very, very good.  We got a breather, and just relaxed together.  Writing out that list of "things I've learned" was very helpful.  There, I was able to articulate (and edit, re-read and memorize) my plan to move forward and make this thing work for us.  Most of the things on that list were fixable things, which was my intent there- teach myself how to make this better.

So, what I did about all that... 

I stopped trying to control everything, all the time.

Yeah, duh, right?

also, much easier when we were able to leave the camper by 9am every day, and mostly stay out until 5:30 or later.  However, even on bad weather days, my changes work.

The first thing I had to let go of, was making a perfect environment for Nick to work.  I took that on, because when we were planning, he kept asking me if I thought it would really actually work to have him in the camper with us.  We ran through alternative solutions.  We thought out all the difficulties (and did a good job of it).  But we were not implementing the plan.

This week, if he had to take a phone call, he did it in the truck.  With one exception, things were charged overnight, so that if he needed to pack up and be private, it would take less than a minute to move locations.

Tied to this tip, I also stopped trying to keep the kids always happy and always quiet.  That's just not reasonable, and it was stressing all of us out.  And since letting them go at it again, they fight less, because little stuff gets handled quickly, instead of my squelching it for them until it blows up- I was teaching them to bottle their emotions!  blech!  Anna only screams now if someone doesn't respect her first "no".  Name calling is gone, throwing is gone, tantrums are.... well, not dangerous.

i stopped checking the weather, unless it looks like it'll be bad.  Back to how I lived before- assume it's nice until you note otherwise.  Makes outside much more enjoyable when you are not told beforehand that it's gonna be "cold"  (really, 60 is not cold, I just had to get that out of my head.).

What I have really loved this week is all the friends we made.  Because we were outside, we attracted other kids to us.  We've made some seriously awesome friends out here, people I hope we stay connected to.  Nick is planning to a triathlon in a couple weeks with one of our new friends, and then he will come up to Iowa to do Ragbrai with Nick.  We have a lot in common with that family, and it was very nice to spend a few days talking with them about God, politics, homeschooling, food (and food politics), medicine (and medicine politics), business... anything we could think of!  And our kid were all the same age and had a wonderful time together.  

We also took this weekend off of traveling, which was a very much needed rest.  We had been spending all week working, which was stressful, and then all weekend driving, which was stressful, and it didn't feel like we spent much time relaxing together.  We got to do that this weekend, with an extra half day on Friday, and it was very nice, and good bonding time.

So, up next... we actually don't know.  We were planning to head back to Iowa as fast as our wheels could carry us next weekend, but now that Nick has decided to this triathlon, we're back to talking about what to do.  Eh, if we made a plan tonight it would probably change tomorrow anyway.

What I learned this week

It's been a really hard week.  One of those weeks where I daily asked myself what I thought I was doing.  I daily bit back the statement "I think we should go home".  Because... I don't think we should go home, really.  I don't think God has told us to hang it up yet.  I think if we get through this rough patch, it WILL get better, because that's usually how things work.

So, in an effort to be thankful in all circumstances (even when I don't know why I'm going through a hard time, or if there is even a reason), here is what I've learned from the past week (or maybe two)

1. Kids do better when they are being creative.  Each time I watch my kids make something out of their imaginations (especially turning mud into things)  I am reminded that God is the ultimate Creator, and the most reverent thing we can do sometimes is get our knees muddy and go make a mud pie.

2.  They are used to my being out of their way.  At home, I leave them alone more.  They solve their own fights (they are ALLOWED to fight), they create their own play, they even do a great job of deciding when they need alone time... it works for us.  Out here, it's harder, especially since I'm trying to appear to be "the perfect mom" while Nick is listening to everything.  Guess what?  It's not working.

3.  Expectations kill my joy!  I had so many ideas of how this was going to work.  Based on what happened last year.. with an infant, in Iowa, in summer, without Nick along.  and the longest we were out was a week.  And I STILL am expecting this trip to turn into that!  Time to turn all those dreams over to God.

4. I am taking too much on myself.  I feel responsible for Nick's peace when he's working (he does have other places he could go besides the camper), and all the normal household chores- more than normal for me because I've taken over things Nick used to do, for everyone's general comfort, and for I don't even know what else.  Which brings me to...

5.  I am responsible for me.  Okay, this is slightly oversimplistic maybe.  But I am NOT responsible for anything related to Nick's work.  It's his job to decide if it's too much chaos in here and find an alternative.  I am NOT solely responsible for All The Things in this place, or the working thereof.  I AM responsible for:
making sure all the kids are alive when Nick gets off work.
my own reactions to the kids and life out here.
filling my own needs during the work day- no one will do that for me, as I discovered today when Mary refused to cook my breakfast for me.  ;-)
School.  sort of.  I am in charge of doing what God has asked of me in that area, no more and no less.  Much is up to God in that area.

6.  God made some magical things, and we should be enjoying them.  Instead of sitting inside, looking out the window and wondering if it's too cold.  Maybe we should go try it and see!  Geesh!

7. My 5 year old might not need to read ALL the shakespeare.  This is related to the above school statement- some days, we need to stick with the basics.  And that's okay.  The Tempest will still be here next year.  Divinci has waited for a long time for Sara to see his work, and he can wait a few more days.  Really.

8.  Check out the showers before you decide if you want full- hookup.  We should have learned that during the last campground.  Worst showers ever.  However, these showers... brand new facility, state of the art.... It's a stall roughly the size of me, and it costs .50 for 3 minutes of water.  Times 5 people... add in a whole lot of red clay mud, and... cha-ching!

and the biggest one of all...
9.  the weather man knows nothing, stop planning around what he says!  Go out and learn some forcastology yourself, woman!